Apple? Not one of my 5 a day...

So the new iPad is now on sale in the UK.This of course means that the many members of the cult of Apple will abandon whatever plans they had for the day to queue up lemminglike,to part with more than £300 to become early adopters of the latest over-hyped product.

Even though I have an ipod,what really hacks me off about Apple is the cult like way that they market and advertise their products.

PC's of course are for the minions,the poor and unimaginative lower social strata who really just don't have the clever,free thinking creative ways that the Apple types who wear cargo trousers to work do.

At the launch of iPad,Apple's leader and no doubt visionary,Steve Jobs,told the audience that the iPad would provide them with a good email experience and a nice keyboard experience."holding it in your hand is an incredible experience" he added."How directly you engage with it..The only word is magical"

I'm sorry but am I missing something here? What the hell is a good email experience?How can sending paragraphs of text or the tapping of fingers on buttons really be described in such elevated terms?

Seeing the birth of your child or falling in love are magical experiences.Pressing send on your latest overpriced,over hyped piece of I.T equipment that was hand made for you by some child in a sweatshop somewhere in the Philippines certainly is not.

I heard a snippet of a Radio 5 live show the other day to hear an iPad owner say that his purchase had changed his life.All I can say is that it couldn't have been much of one in the first place...

But the saddest case so far must be that of Stephen Fry.He's already posted several blogs regarding his love for all things Apple like and the iPad is no different.He actually said (and I'm not making this up):
When I switch it on a little sigh escapes me.Ten minutes later I'm rolling on the floor,snarling and biting,trying to wrestle it from the hands of an Apple press representative.
"I had been prepared for a smooth feel,for a bright screen and the immersive experience everyone had promised.I was not prepared however,for how instant the relationship I formed with the device would be.The only way you will take it from me is to prise it from my cold dead fingers."

But to make things worse,there is even a video on YouTube of him unwrapping his own iPad.The luvvie like way he sees the packaging for the first time and the way his quivering hands open the the boxes to reveal the individual components really is quite sick.

But that's the thing with Apple.It turns adults into children,turning normally intelligent people into the most boring geeks of all time.

If you don't believe me,go into an Apple store.Line of cultish followers with more money than sense,standing in front of screens with faces full of worry that because they don't possess the latest gizmo,they are living in the technological Dark Ages.

The iPad isn't the only product out there but it certainly feels like it......